You have to go through Hell, before you get to Heaven!

I'm semi-embarrassed to admit that I heard this quote while watching the World of Jenks this morning on MTV. I will admit that I watch terrible tv (I love the stupid reality shows like the Kardashians, Housewives, and Teen Mom), and Sunday mornings seems to be when I watch the worst shows. Which leads me to this morning's World of Jenks episode where he followed a rapper (apparently the guy that sings 'All the Above'). The rapper was talking about his past life, going to prison, getting stabbed, etc, and how it all lead to where he is today.

This quote really struck me (enough to make me blog about it). I have really gone through some ups and downs while living in NYC. In fact, pretty much a year ago from this time I was severely unhappy in life. I spent my weekends alone in my apartment, barely did anything, and just kept to myself in my state of depression. I knew something was wrong, I knew that I was not myself, but I just didn't know how to snap out of it. I had pretty much hit my rock bottom (for the second time) in NY.

And honestly, I don't know what happened, I don't know why I was so unhappy, and I don't know what has changed, but now I feel like the happiest girl in the world. I'm still miserable in my job, I'm still single, and I'm still struggling to save any money while living here, but for the first time I have accepted it all, and I'm completely content with everything. I realize now how amazing it is that I am living in NY, even if I'm broke! This is quite the experience, and I would never change it to be living back at home with my parents just to be saving some money (no offense meant to anyone who chose that path). I also know that I will find a new job eventually and everything will fall into place. But in the mean time, I'M IN HEAVEN! I'm finally sooooo happy it's unreal. I keep myself busy, I've found a great group of friends to spend time with on the weekends. I go out, and try new things, and meet new people. I'm no longer letting myself get stressed out and upset over a job I don't even like. Sure, there are nights I have to stay late to make deadlines, but I've stopped caring as much as I used to (esp. since nobody else does). I'm finally making myself the priority, not my job. I'm exercising more and eating healthy, I'm writing on a regular basis, and I've adding learning how to play the guitar to my list of things to do next. I'm focusing on making healthy priorities for myself, and it feels good.

Of course, there are going to be some bad days/bad moments where I regress to questioning whether living in NYC is the right choice for me, but for now I'm happy to say that it is. That this is where I should be in life. I've gone through my Hell, and now I'm in Heaven and it can only get better from here!